untitled

So, i guess this is the last post on this blog. just yesterday, i was happy and excited and just having a great time, until my friend shared a doc with me, and then i read it. it basically said that she and two others were thinking about shutting down everything, deleting the documents that we made together, erasing the story. erasing Divided. they said we need to move on, and that it's basically a horrible thing that needs to go. i found out my friend also blocked me so i guess i reminded her of the story too much. i don't know. so i'm gonna stop posting on here, just leave it to rot. i don't have the heart to delete this blog.

it's kinda funny how they all agree it's bad for us. for me, the roleplay, the whole world we created together, it helped me. when i was at my lowest, this made me feel better. it made me closer to some. i finally had a world where i could run away to and escape the daily pressures and the stress and the hate and everything. i could just write, and fall in love with the story all over again. i guess what i'm trying to get at was that this story was keeping my chin above the water of reality. and now that it's being shut down, well, i'm drowning.

just last night, i ripped up my arm without really thinking about it. i started crying and i felt numb and i realized just how stupid i was, looking at the world through rose tinted glasses. i'm sorry this is so depressing and stupid. i'm kinda at a loss for what i'm supposed to do now.

so, i guess this is it. i'm sorry, all. sorry, Sara, for whatever i did.

see you all on the flip side.